
THE “FEAR AND HATE” ARC CONTINUES…
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George pulled on his orange gown, tying the string firmly around his waist. ‘This time, I will do it.’
Fi nodded and smiled warmly. ‘I hope so, George.’ Dressed in a silver dress, adorned with bushels of dark flowers, she looked as beautiful as ever – if a bit fatigued. Yesterday’s training had exhausted her as much as it had George – even more so, it seemed to him. He spied new lines on her forehead and crows’ feet around her eyes.
Fi continued, ‘Yesterday showed you use a common defecting technique when combating the Three Pillars of the Mind: when faced with the Pillars of Fear and Doubt, you defected to the Pillar of Ego to overcome them. While this may work in the short-term, in the long-run, it bodes ill. Each of the Three Pillars will corrupt you, will threaten you to Turn. At least if Hugh’s theory is right,’ she added.
George inhaled sharply, balling his hands to fists, before unclenching them, feeling the tension ebb from him. He exhaled slowly. ‘I can do this. I can beat the Three Pillars and control my mind.’
‘I know you can. Do it just as we talked about. Now go into Voidsight.’
George obliged and closed his eyes. Using Lilly’s breathing technique, he slowed his heart, slowed his mind, and focussed on the space around him. It rippled with energy. And then his Voidsight came to him, lighting the room with balls of light. He noted, with a smile, it came much quicker now, almost the instant he had begun using his breathing techniques. He was getting better.
But I’m not good enough. He remembered the avidraks, the fight inside the bowels of his own mind. He had let the Powers of the Ov’l control and guide him, when it should have been him controlling and guiding his Powers. Control – that was what was most important, as much as George disliked it. That was what Hugh had said: he needed to prioritise control over strength. Control itself would be his strength.
Don’t let your fear of failure and doubt control you, he reminded himself. The Three Pillars are potent. But he was sure as well to not let overconfidence overcome him. The Pillar of Ego was just as deadly as those of Fear and Doubt.
He felt the energy fill him up, felt it dance at his fingers, buzzing down his veins like burning sugar. Voidlight filled him…Then he stopped and opened his eyes.
George shook his head, breathing hard. ‘I – I can’t. I can’t let it go out of control again. I almost killed you, Fi.’
Fi bit her lip, then smiled. ‘The Three Pillars are not a reflection of your morals, George, for as many times as the Pillars defeat you, you show your strength of character. I think, though, we shall try something different. Something a bit more unorthodox.’ Something glittered in her eyes. ‘Oh, I really hope this works!’ There was a touch of excitement to her voice, but George also detected a note of apprehension. Being this close to an Ov’l – especially one like him so unable to control his power – was certainly putting her control of the Pillar of Fear to the test.
‘Okay, George, sit down there.’ Fi gestured at the tiled floor of the training room and George sat. ‘This thing I want to try, I will explain it to you now. Of the many spells of Psychic Weaving, there are three which many believe are the most fundamental: Mental Lock, Psychic Beam, and Psychic Command. I will try each of these powers on you in turn; I want you to try and break free of them. Ignore the whispers of the Pillars of Fear and Doubt. Ignore, too, the Pillar of Ego; defecting to the Pillar of Ego will not bode you well.’
George nodded, eyes steely. ‘I understand.’ He gritted his teeth. ‘I’m ready.’
She smiled, that dazzling smile of hers, so bright and sparkly it would make even the silver sheen of her dress jealous. ‘Good, George. Very good.’ She stroked her dress, smoothing the creases. ‘Be careful, though. You may feel ready – but are you truly ready in the mind?’
George sighed, contemplating, lowering his head. Through a series of breathing techniques, he calmed his racing heart and stilled his mind. All he could think was static and grey. Exhaling finally for near on a full minute, George picked up his gaze and fixed it on Fi. ‘I am ready.’ His statement was not one of strength but of calm. Pure calm.
Fi nodded. She did not give him further time to prepare. ‘Abixos.’ The words came as a feral hiss, a buzz so loud they threatened to interrupt the dull static of George’s mind. He tried to control his breathing, but could feel his breath freezing in his throat, slowing with each second. I can do it, he thought calmly, though he was becoming more and more unconvinced. He could feel his muscles lock, hear the voice in his head: Succumb to my power…
He tried to shake his head, as if doing so would rid him of the voice – but his head was motionless, perched atop his neck. He could not move, not even twitch, could hardly breathe. His eyes were just about all he could control.
The Pillar of Doubt rose up within him: I can’t… He tried to beat it away. I will. I will. I will – I can’t. I can’t – I will. I will…
George’s mind hurt from the battle. His entire body trembled and tensed. Cold rushed down his back – adrenaline.
Fi looked marginally concerned. Unsurprised, but concerned, nonetheless. ‘Ybitk,’ she said calmly, pointing a finger at George.
From the tip of here finger, beneath the white, acrylic nail, blossomed a ray of pink, circular light. It ebbed and flowed like a snaking tendril, reaching for George. George’s eyes widened. Even the reassuring look Fi gave him could not stop the Pillar of Fear. What is happening?!
His breaths shallowed, and now, he could barely breathe. The tendril of pink light wrapped itself round his throat, snaked itself down his spine. Where it touched, everything went numb. Everything tingled with numbness. The grey static of his mind – his calmness – was lost to a barrage of buzzing, ugly, pink lights.
The lights overrode all thought and sound. He saw Fi’s lips move but heard not the words she spoke.
Then, a calm voice cut over the fog. It was unmistakably Fi’s, only the tone was hard and cold, absent of her usual warmth and humour. ‘Jump.’
His spine prickled, and her felt the sudden urge to jump – and did so.
His eyes boggled as they fixed on Fi. This was the final spell. This was her Psychic Command – and it terrified him.
‘Raise your right hand,’ the hard voice of Fi commanded, cutting through the pink light.
He raised his right hand. A shiver rattled down his spine. She could command him to do anything – absolutely anything at all – and he would do it. Not out of choice. Out of compulsion.
I can’t break free of this… he despaired. I’m not strong enough. I’m weak. Weak!
‘Slap yourself.’
He did, wincing as his open palm struck his cheek with lightning precision. He stared across at Fi. Her brows were furrowed and her face taut with concentration.
She shook her head. And suddenly, the pink lights whirling through George’s mind disappeared. Sound returned to his ears – almost deafening him – and his thoughts came back, fearful and trembling.
‘It’s okay, George.’ Fi’s hard face was gone; she smiled warmly at him. ‘You failed – but that’s okay. Sinchara Khan failed the first time as well.’
Mention of Sinchara Khan froze George’s gut. He exhaled sharply.
At his pained expression, Fi’s face sombered. ‘Sorry, George, I – I shouldn’t have mentioned him.’
‘It’s alright.’
She peered interestedly at him. ‘Sit, George.’ She gestured to the seats and table at the side of the training room. ‘I want to tell you something.’
George sighed. He made his way over to the seats and sat, lamenting silently to himself the discomfort of his seat. Fi sat across from him.
‘The Pillars of Doubt and Fear have great control over you,’ she said. ‘You must learn to control them. But do not be oblivious to the Pillar of Ego. It could blindside you when you are not expecting it.’ Her smiled faded, and her face darkened. Her eyes became pits. She tried to speak, but her breath caught in her throat. ‘George, sometimes it takes tragedy to forge a hero. That’s what it took for many of the reavers of Taskforce Delta – Alpha Squad especially.’ At George’s dumb look, she added, ‘Alpha Squad is the primary squad of Taksforce Delta. The other reavers here don’t see half as much action as we do. Me, Hugh, the captain, Annabelle, Cleo, and David.’ She sighed. ‘We were all forged in tragedy. Certainly, the tragedy of Sinchara Khan’ – George winced at his mention – ‘affected us all, but there were also personal tragedies.’ She bit her lip. ‘My father was…unkind…to me. In many ways. My childhood is framed by blood and bruises, with only sharp words and insults to soothe them,
‘Tragedy is a crucible all must eventually walk through. Some just do earlier than others. My tragedy – I used it to empower me. I had to. It was either that or let it destroy me, consume every piece of my soul until I was just a hollow shell. After my father, the Pillar of Fear had no hold over me; nothing could scare me any more than he did. The Pillar of Ego had never held over me anyway. But the Pillar of Doubt? That was my great challenge. But I overcame it.’ She sighed and looked at him. ‘Have you had your tragedy, George?’
The simplicity in how she spoke – especially over such terrible things – caught George off-guard. When she asked her question, he stammered a second, trying to process an answer. He remembered his tragedy, from just a few days ago. His sister, Lilly, had died of cancer.
But that wasn’t the tragedy. Or, at least, wasn’t the whole of the tragedy, but only the end of a longer tragedy that had begun with the murder of his parents by the villainous cyborg Rod – and the disappearance of his younger brother, Arthur.
‘Do not say your tragedy to me,’ said Fi. ‘It is for you to conquer by yourself. I can only guide – but it must be you who is the driving force.’ She paused. ‘Are you ready to give it another go?’
He nodded and got himself set up.
They tried again. Fi went through the spells – Mental Lock froze him in place, Psychic Beam confused and confounded him with its rosy cloud of mind-infesting light, then Psychic Command came, carrying Fi’s distorted voice. This time, though, when the Psychic Command came, his knees did not waver and his shoulders did not shake.
He recalled that night with Rod. When he had murdered his parents and torn apart his family. He recalled as well the vision he had faced in the delaeon. That brought him strength and a renewed fire in his chest. I beat him in the delaeon, he thought. I beat that shadow. I can do it!
The sugary lightning of Voidlight raced down his veins. His muscles tensed until they were fit to pop, and his body buzzed with energy and raw power. I will show her the true Powers of the Ov’l!
Fi’s next command came as a barely-audible whisper. The hiss of Voidlight, of the voices that empowered him, drowned out her fourth attempt at commanding him. He saw her hard face dissolve to fear. Her eyes widened.
A fifth command came: ‘Stop, George.’
‘NO!’ he bellowed. His entire body shook with the force of his shout. A bolt of golden light burst from his hand, arcing across the room; it struck Fi in the face, sending her spinning backwards through the air. She struck the wall, hard, and fell back to the ground. She did not get back up again.
George roared loudly, jubilant. He had done it! He had defeated the Pillars, broken through her Psychic Weaving.
Gradually, though, as the excitement of Voidlight faded, and the heat faded from his chest, his face twisted into a grimace. He gasped. No…I succumbed to Ego, defected to it just as Fi warned me not to. He looked across the training room at Fi, lying still on the floor. Oh, no – what have I done…?




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